What comes out of my coaching sessions most of the time is that a lot of you guys don’t know what you want in life. You know what your parents, your spouse, your distant aunty, your boss… want for you but you’re clueless when it comes to your own aspirations.
Growing up in Arab, Asian or African culture sometimes means not having much of a say in the big decisions in your life, especially for girls. I regularly talk to clients who go from having their parents manage their life to having their husband take on that role. The result of that is often an exhausted daughter, wife, mother full of anger and resentment because she does not know who she is or what she wants, she’s far from being happy and half of her life has been wasted trying to please others but she is too scared of what would people think if she spoke up about those feelings of resentment.
It happens with men as well but they tend to wake up earlier than us ladies. In their twenties they’ll quickly decide they’re done following orders that don’t necessarily make sense to them and they will create and follow their own vision.
But what does it even mean to have a life vision anyway?
Vision is defined as the bigger picture you draw of your life. It’s the clear picture of who you want to be and what you want to accomplish in your existence.
Why is it so important to create a vision for yourself?
Vision gives us a sense of purpose, it’s as simple as that.
I believe we’re all part of something bigger than us. Having a vision also helps us understand how we can contribute to other people’s lives in a positive way.
Vision brings possibilities.
If right now you’re feeling stuck and kind of depressed because you’re stagnating in life, it’s normal. It is human nature to find fulfilment in progress. A good way to get out of that low phase is to create a life vision if you’ve never done it before or to review yours if it doesn’t help you move forward anymore. By looking outwards and towards the future, you’ll stop focusing on your problems and will interrupt the negative thought pattern that’s preventing you from growing.
Vision helps you define your WHY
Your WHY is the reason you do everything that you do. Vision will provide you with a solid why, a strong reason to get out of bed even on the days you just feel like staying in and calling sick. It will also be a motivation when you encounter challenges because you will remember why you started in the first place.
You might think there’s no point having a vision because God is the best of planners and we have no say in what happens to us. Well, I agree with the first half of that statement but if we truly had no say in our destiny why would Allah allow us to make dua? Why would He insist by telling us “Call upon me, I will answer you” (Quran 40:60)? Why would He bless us with laylatul Qadr?
And if you’re still sceptical about the purpose of creating a vision for yourself, look at the example of our Prophet, Mohammed (peace be upon him). I was reading about his mission and duties in the book In the Early Hours: reflections on spiritual and personal development, by Khurram Murad and I thought it was so inspiring and a good reminder that all the prophets we know of had a mission. I know we’re far from being prophets but as they were sent to us to set an example and be role models, for me it clearly means that we shouldn’t go through this life aimlessly.
In addition, we all know how time is one of our most important resources. It’s the only one that you can’t buy and that you only get once. So if you’re not using your time in this life to do something meaningful, and it’s up to you to define what is meaningful, isn’t it a waste of that precious resource?
Now, you’re probably wondering how on earth do you create your life vision?
Where do you even start? This is part of what I do with my clients and the first two pages of my Free 7 Days Self-Esteem Workbook might help in that soul searching. But you can start by asking yourself questions like what is my mission? What do I want to bring into this world? What would my life look like if it was perfect?
Then in my coaching session I always like to do visualization exercices where my clients picture a happy version of themselves in the future. Try that, see what comes up in your mind, take notes.
If you feel like you’re struggling to do it on your own, ask for help, but not just from anyone. It should be someone who puts your interest first and who is neutral. Someone who won’t have an opinion or a judgment on what comes out of the brainstorming. If you want me to help you do that, then you can always apply to join my coaching program by contacting me here.
To end this article, let me emphasize on the fact that what truly matters is not the destination but the journey. A vision will allow you to grow in so many ways, the goal is not to have exactly the life you dream of but to expand yourself to become the person you want to be. So, what kind of person do you want to be?
Let me know in the comments section below!
Don’t forget to share this if you think it will benefit someone else, take care of yourself, always.